March 30, 2018
Eduardo Glen Mora
I use to think that the most important thing about recovery was to stop drinking. Many times I have heard that staying stopped is the most important thing, as well as working the steps, have a sponsor, go to meetings, share and help others. As all of these are part of what keeps me sober, life is (I know I am maybe going to get into some controversy here) not all about AA.
Most of the time I deal with people that it is not like me, people that don’t have an addiction and can manage their own lives. People that are responsible, that grew up and take responsibility for their actions. People that own their mistakes and try to be better human beings just because that is the right thing to do. People that LEARNED the lesson and live life on life’s terms. Today I know that at some point in my life I just stop learning, I refused to grow up and fooled myself thinking that going against everything and everyone was going to make me different because I was not like everyone else. Yes, here it goes again this need for “uniqueness” that I have, this entitlement that makes me think rules don’t apply to me because I am nothing like anybody.
Recovery is a tough cookie, I don’t get to manipulate it or bend the rules like I was used to when I wanted to get what I wanted. I have to be teachable, I have to be humble and accept when I make a mistake, when I harm somebody, when it is clear that I don’t know as much as I think I do, in fact many times I don’t know anything at all because all this is new for me.
I have to remind myself everyday, that I am not doing anybody a favor, that I am not accomplishing anything spectacular, that I am only doing what I am supposed to do as a grown adult, that I am just behaving the way I have to because that is what is expected from everyone that lives in a society where each of us do our part to be better and help others to be the same.
So besides what my program means to me, LIFE is not about it, I need it for my recovery but others don’t, it is not about me and neither Life nor people owe me anything. Everything I do I know now is just what I am supposed to do if I am to live and do my part to be of service.
I need to be in LEARNING mode stay humble and never forget I need to be grateful for what has been given to me, life is all about others, not about me or about how I got to where I am today.