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Find Similarities

August 28, 2018

Eduardo Glen Mora

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¨Is life sober good for you? I was really sick, and my business makes it harder. I am a bar tender. I got really low. ¨ This are regular conversations after a meeting, you get to connect with people you havent spoken to ever and would never have in real life. Here we share no only what it was like then and how it is today. We are together united in a bond that only we understand. We have all been through a lot, we lost a lot and we are building our lives back.

A very difficult thing to do when we first come is to find similarities; we have fought so hard to be different. Some made a promise to grow up and never be like the adults in their life. Some never understood their families and just were waiting for a chance to leave and find their own way. Others were just left alone decided it is better to be apart and on their own.

Still, at some point we found people we thought they got it all and wanted to be around them or like them. Human beings can’t be alone, we need to share, we need to be accepted and a part of something bigger. What a contradiction right?

When I first started recovery I tried everything. Started with trying to control it was the first of course, treatment to find out what was so wrong in my past that made me into the person I became. Self help books, Therapy, you name it. one day someone told me:

What are you doing now to give maintenance to that expensive Recovery you just bought? I would take care of it with some program, what about AA?
Yes, funny. I met him in AA already, but he read in our conversation I was to make a common mistake others fall into. People go to Rehab and then believe they graduated, they feel all the work is done and they can take their life where it was before the way they lived it before. Well, not quite, recovery  is a new life, it is a process that continues for the rest of our lives. If we go back to the life and the ways we had before, history will catch up on us just the same.

Opening ourselves to others is not easy, it makes us vulnerable and none of us wants to go there. We stuffed down our feelings and fears because we don’t want to be hurt. But only when we show are true colors we connect, nothing resonates like that. And that is what makes us one. Once  showing who we really are, people identifies, we find the similarities and we start listening. We relate and that is what makes a program work.  We become equal, we create fellowship.

We tried so hard to be different and failed, and now being part of something (wich we always recoiled from), we find we can  make it work. All walks of life, backgrounds, situations but in the end we find out that we are all the same, we share feelings, fears, hope, dreams, and we want to share it with others. Life is about that and we come from hardships and faraway to find that together.

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