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1087

December 6, 2018

Eduardo Glen Mora

 

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What have I learned and what is my life like today after 1087 days in sobriety? I have gone through many changes. From being afraid of having a drink and counting minute by minute begging to be able to stay sober for one more hour until I attend a meeting. When the most significant victory of a day would be to go to bed sober. To almost not thinking about the subject but to be aware who I am and where do I come from.

It has been a lot of learning, and it has been hard to find that most of the life I was living was a lie. To realize that I had no friends and that the relationships and people that are important in my life were broken and away from me because of me. Everything changed a lot and kept on moving, bringing moments I never expected to live again. Sometimes I feel that I experience feelings for the first time and others, I get to comfort myself watching how lost moments of happiness and content come back and soothe my soul.

There are moments when I hurt from the reality of the things I lost and the people I let down and know it can’t be fixed. But there are other times that bring an unexpected feeling of gratitude when I see that there is a chance to make amends or restitution. All this granted by kindness from those we affected.

Most of the time, I live in the present without the heaviness of anxiety, guilt, fear, and depression. I have clarity and peace of mind when things are not easy or going as expected. I can deal and accept life in life terms. I am capable of keeping my ego in check and work with my character defects and try to be better.

 

3 Comments

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  1. December 6, 2018

    Congratulations! Like you, I feel much less anxiety and guilt than when I first stopped drinking. It’s so nice to be free, isn’t it? 💕

    Like

    • Eduardo Glen Mora #
      December 6, 2018

      It is a nice feeling indeed. A little strange that good moments are not as high as they where but the feeling stays longer and tastes better. I imagine this is what serenity means. Have a great day, always appreciate your comments.

      Liked by 1 person

      • December 17, 2018

        Thanks, Eduardo. I find the really “high” moments I have to seek out … like hang-gliding or something. I have never hang-glided, but I have to do something exhilarating to get that same kind of high. Hard to do on a daily basis. ; )

        Like

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