December 27, 2018
Eduardo Glen Mora
In the process to better ourselves, we may fall into self-righteousness. We don’t want to be back in our ways. Try to stay away from selfishness or being judgemental. We don’t want to hurt people and are always careful of our actions in order not to fall again.
But we may lose the complete view and sometimes forget that the story has as many sides as spectators. We can grow apart from our principles and values in our effort to become an example. And we go back; we get arrogant and condescending, we shut our minds to other opinions and become intolerant. We feel one up than others and think that our way is the only right way.
I quit drinking and using a little over three years ago. I recovered most of my clarity; I am in a general way healthier. I don’t smoke anymore and cut caffeine by half so far. I have improved many of my relationships professionally and personally. I have made some amends and attempted others. Many things have changed for good and are better drastically comparing the old days. I have less anxiety and accept that there is a lot of stuff out of my control, and I don’t try to change them or manipulate outcomes.
Every day I find something new to be grateful for and continuously remind myself of many others that have come to me as blessings and gifts in this time.
But I am myself and always will be. Complacency starts sinking into my recovery, and I slack on my personal growth: I stop working on myself and forget that my addiction was active as a result of my shortcomings as a human being.
Staying stopped is not enough. So now that I am looking for meaning for these years and what is the next step into my recovery; I see very clearly that I have to stay vigilant.
My worst fear today is not picking up, it is antagonism, indifference, harshness. I become egotistical, proud and rude. So I need to remain teachable, humble and it is not easy. In the end, we are human, and we travel on this journey of progress, not perfection.
Life has been good to me so far and keeps getting better as long as I accept who I am and remind myself where I come from.